I Hadn't Noticed How Picky I had been Of a Man's Voice

Until That Moment in time, I Hadn't Noticed How Picky I had been Of a Man's Voice

His was nasal, verging on whiney. He could have appeared to be Clive Owen, but I wasn't likely to uncover since the phone had been down.

My second attempt was 'Mr Right-up Your Street.' His telephone message began with: "Hey ??? how you doin'?" in a poor impression of Joey from Friends. He continued: "This could be the best decision you cash in on in your little life ??? "

Speak yourself, buddy, I believed when i unceremoniously terminated the call. Next up, a man who believed the only method to a woman's heart was via a flash motor: "Let's get down to the brass tacks. I look great, I drive a convertible racecar ??? "

Horrible, arrogant, chauvinistic an extraordinary achievement in very few words!

'My God, I'm turning into a female Simon Cowell!' I believed when i tried hard to remain impartial and turn into focussed.

But after hearing 'Mr Dog Mad' who desired to meet a pedigree bitch; 'Mr Lover-Lover', who was simply sure of his appeal which i suspected a nice drink around the first date will be not possible, and 'Genuine Guy', who sounded like he previously the personality and panache of Baldrick from Blackadder, my optimism was beginning to wane somewhat and reality was establishing.

Equally I had been beginning lose faith in every mankind (I'm not really famous for my patience and resolve) and was ready to turn to the TV listings, I spotted this place:

"Friendly, affable, funny, open-minded M shop latex artist; single parent of three wonderful kids, would like to meet an identical F for shared passion for life"

Call me fickle, but my mood changed from despair to ecstasy.

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty! Personally i think pretty and witty and gayyyy! And I pity any girl who isn't me today!" I sang to myself when i dialled the now familiar number for which I hoped is the last time.

His voice was deep and smooth, he lived within driving distance, he was funny, clever and well within his expiry date soohmygod ... I left a message.

"Hello, i'm Frances," I purred inside my sexiest Kathleen Turner voice, "... but we would have a lot in accordance. If you need to get hold of me my number is " and the like He contacted me a week later, on the Friday, and wanted to meet me that same evening. Once i asked what are the hurry was, he tactfully explained: "I've drawn up a short-list of possibles and I would like it to certainly be a done deal by Monday."

I will have told him where to get off then there, but he sounded so perfect inside paper! So, just like a lamb merrily gambolling on the slaughter, I consented to meet him.

Things i did next, broke the most important rule of every dating agency anywhere:

' Never , under any circum-stances, arrange in order to meet a man the very first time at his or your home.'